i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
