sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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