So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
