He kissed a someone with a penis
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
