Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
