I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
