I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Randomize
