they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
