My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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