Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She told me I should be a condom model.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
