we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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