I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
third nipple confirmed
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
