I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
