We're facebook friends in real life
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
