i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
