I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
