Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
