It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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