Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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