ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
