I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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