Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
