He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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