and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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