i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
