barbara walters just said penis...
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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