sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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