This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
