Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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