in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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