Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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