my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
