Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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