My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
