summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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