there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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