Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
