Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
