Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
