Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
