Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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