if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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