i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
