idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
In America we eat man semen.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
