In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The air was thick with penises
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
