This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
