Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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