i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
