peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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