I'll bet she douches with gravy.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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