Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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