hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
