yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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