I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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