Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
