who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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