Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
