he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I miss vodka workout Fridays
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
