You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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