I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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