You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize