No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
