yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
