Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
